My job title is now stay-at-home-mom (SAHM), but what does that mean? I think it’s different for everyone who finds themselves in this position. As a first time mom to an almost 4 month old, for me it means:
- I don’t get near enough sleep even though I’m “in bed” from about 7:30PM until 5:30AM most nights.
- My house is constantly in need of cleaning; and not just tidying, like spring cleaning, deep cleaning.
- I only rarely manage to get dinner on the table, but most of the time send out for delivery instead.
- I count myself lucky if I get a shower 3 times each week, usually it’s just once or twice.
- I spend a ridiculous amount of time thinking/worrying about any number of things that never used to cross my mind like baby bowel movements and developmental milestones (and when to start worrying that she hasn’t hit them).
- I’ve been inundated with laundry, but have absolutely no desire to do it (spend 2-3 hours soaking and scrubbing milk stains and baby poop out of her clothes and mine? No thanks).
- JT and I are rarely intimate because, let’s be honest, we could get busy or we could just go to sleep (refer back to the first bullet).
- I can’t really commit to doing anything during nap times because she only sleeps when I’m wearing her in one of the many carriers I own (she is always changing her mind on which one she prefers each day) and she will only sleep well if I walk around the whole time she sleeps.
- I get to spend maybe a hour (in many 10-15 minute chuncks) on my hobbies or passions each day and I feel guilty for not spending that time cleaning my house or getting dinner on the table.
- Referring to the above bullet, I’m not even sure what my hobbies and passions are at the moment (I still love drawing and nerdy stuff, but what is important for my self care? What makes me feel the most like me?).
But in return:
- I binge watch whatever I want on Netflix as long as I’m willing to pause it whenever Gem wakes up and watch it while pacing the living room.
- I get pretty much unlimited snuggle time with the best cuddler in the world.
- I’m there to watch as she learns how to interact with the world around her (“are those MY feet!?”).
The absolute best part about being a SAHM is that regardless of how much I worry about it, I know I’m providing a wonderful environment for Gem to grow and learn and prosper; and she is happy, healthy and thriving because of it.
To be clear, I am absolutely not knocking moms or dads who return to work. You are amazing and also have happy, healthy, and thriving kids! I’m just writing about my limited experience of being a stay-at-home for the past few months.